I am lucky to have you.

I was sobbing quietly at the fear that my sadness will reach the person over the phone.He is a person whom I love dearly and letting him down can never be my option.I was at my worst, and was too weak too hold my tears. I've been through countless of sleepless nights rolling on my bed trying to figure out the solutions to my problems,but sadly speaking I found none.It was so unbearable and I thought maybe I need someone to talk to, I am glad that you listened to me.

For some moments, I imagined myself standing at the middle of a railway and welcoming an approaching train that accelerating in the speed of light with my open arms.I wasn't feeling scare nor panic,I know because I saw myself smiling as if the train is going to give me a super comfy bear hug.Hug.Oh,I miss that.I miss being hug by someone else,because it reminds me that I am not alone.

I hate myself for overly thinking about something.Something really small said my friends whom I shared my problem with,but not to me.You'll agree with me if you're in my shoe,it is HUGE.

I've never been in such a depressing situation before,not until I ended my high school.When I reached the junction that forked  into thousand and million of pathways,I am startled I am lost. The feeling of paranoid overwhelmed me,suffocating me. It is so disturbing that I cry a lot but there was no tears.Guessed so that is the highest level of depression.So often that I caught myself staring into the blank space,I can no longer think.I do not know what else I should desire,I feel like I had completely lost contact with myself.I used to think that I understand myself well,but I was wrong.I am clueless about the person that reflected on my mirror,a person that has my eyes,my nose,my lips,my everything but she is a total stranger to me. I've tried so many times to escape,but the harder I try the deeper I sink.

Now,dad is over the phone.He is listening to all the craps that I am trying to say,what more can I ask right?For the very first time,we have such a deep conversations.Well the reason that I described it as 'very first time' is because in my memories dad was always a serious man,a less smiling person and I used to think that he hated me because I was always the troublemaker at home.Nonetheless,I know he loves me beyond more.

Today,he made me cry.

From a thousand miles away,he listened to me patiently and he talked to me.

"Girl,don't you ever worry about the fees and living expenses.I am here to provide. 100K?300K?bring it on!don't worry,I got your back.Just go and chase after your dreams and live a life with no regrets, others are just secondary.Dad was poor when I was at your age and I was less educated than you are,but look at me now, I am a dad and I earn enough penny to raise four kids.I admit that it was tough at the beginning but time will pass girls,hardships will be gone one day.Don't you worry about what lies ahead,because you're not the only one that is clueless about what's happening in the future.The fact is,no one knows!So,what makes you think that you are useless?By taking a course that you interested in but get humiliated by your peers?Why would care about what other people think,they ain't perfect either and who are them to judge?Dad truly believes that all roads lead to Rome,and you're on your way now.It doesn't matter to dad how much you earn in the future because money isn't a measurement to everything,all dad wishes for is that you're happy with your life.Keep in mind that life is a journey of exploring,not a race.Don't compare yourself with other people,because no one is like you and vice verse. Be yourself,and keep pressing on.Whatever obstacles that come to you,overcome it embrace it and you win being a stronger person each day. 

I tilted my head up,tried so hard to catch my tears.
All I can say is,I love you dad.


Dear problems,I will come to you again and I promise you will not stay long this time.Perhaps for that one last time.I'm gonna kill you for taken away so many laughter from me :)

Sincerely,

Princess Evon

puzzle?

I've been rotting at home for more than a week now,no..don't talk about what I've accomplished because I have no idea about that.The same routines goes on and on every single day since I have no class to attend, no people to meet and not engaged to any job,so all I do was sleep-eat-walk around-talk to my dog-Facebook-eat-sleep.It's like a endless circle..and frankly speaking I am so sick of that :( 

I think I am weird,yeah I really do.

When I am so busy with college life I get homesick so often and misses all the stress free life that I can have during holidays,on the other hand when I am on holidays,I miss attending classes and the "healthier" lifestyle that I am forced to have.Life is full with dilemmas,and we just can't escape from that. 

Guess so my holidays isn't the well planned one this time,and I really have to admit on this matter because I've already spent so much time on achieving nothing.Literally,nothing.Okay,maybe there is something...I did a huge amount of thinking these days..haha is this considered as achievement?

Interested in knowing what I have in my mind these days?is okay if you don't though..cause it's lame and I know it..and I am not going to blame you if you quit this page now,I swear :)

Well,I was thinking A LOT about things that happened in that past,things that happening now and things that will happen in the future. I've always wonder why I was born in the first place,okay I may sound a little bit too much and silly to think about those fated things they we are unable to change.But hey,don't you think about this question yourself too?

As much as I hate to say this,this killing question already rooted in me since the day when I started gaining the ability to make evaluations about events surrounding me.Not so sure about the particulars,but I remember it was the first time I showered on my own(without assistance from my mum)and fatefully there was a makeup mirror in that bathroom.I took a long time looking at the reflected image of  me,wonder why do I look like that?why do I existed?who am I?from where I came?blablabla..and the questions go endless.As an innocent child,of course I threw those doubts that I have in me to my parents,but all I got was "you will understand it when you grow up girl." Since then,I was so eager to grow up,I cant wait to grow up so that I can eliminate those suffocating curiosity that intensifying in me. 

And now,I am all grown up.

It will be a lie if I say I found no answers,I did found some considerable answers.Yet,the puzzle still remains as a puzzle to me.The fact is NO ONE KNOWS WHY I AM BORN TO THE GODDAMN WORLD!By saying that some answers are considerable,it is actually something that I've learnt in the church.My pastor was telling me that everyone is born with an identical purpose and it is none other than glorifying God.I nodded on that statement because by far that is the only answer that sort of answering my question,even though I was partially disagree on that due to that fact that not everyone believes in God.How about those who doesn't believe in god?they have no one to glorify thus they have no purpose in life?Oh god,I was confused. 

Anyway,we can never be too sure about everything right?Guess so I should just press on and live this god-knows-what life.

Life is full with unknowns and uncertainties,and that is what makes life life.

At the end if the day,the puzzle remains unsolved.



till then,


xoxo


Moody me,

Princess Evon

Beautylabo!

Hello here we are again!There is again something NEW that I would like to share this time around,perhaps it is not something new for some of you because this little thingy already existed in out market for quite some time.so,TAADAAA!

Beautylabo whip hair colour !

This time around I did not buy it,because it was a free gift or some sort of tester that was distributed in the shopping mall and my cousin happened to be the part time promoter for this hair dye product so,she got free samples..and I should say I am the lucky one because of her :) *must give her some credit on this..haha because it was her efforts anyway.

My aunt owns a saloon,so ever since I was young I hardly visit any other saloons other than the one that provides me with head-to-toe free services..hohoho *feeling blessed She has the ultimate rights to be known as my private-professional-hairstylist,because only at her saloon I get the sifu tailored haircut and on top of all she knows me well!In spite of the fact that sometimes especially during the times when I was young, I used to cry and throw tantrums like a mad when few inches of my hard-to grow-longer hair was cut by her,because I used to believe that short hair makes me looks like I have a super hideous "mushroom head,coconut head,tortoise head" and you name it...I know people at their young ages shouldn't care about how they look but I cared! because my ex-classmates including me were already so expert in teasing people at our young ages :( But now, when I look at those "mushroom headed" children,they look super cute with that kind of hairstyles..so I hypothesized that most probably I was cute too back then!hahaha :] Due to the fact that I was being over pampered by this personal hairstylist of mine,I do not really trust other hairdresser when it comes to my hair.So,this time since I am far from home and also my hair stylist, I decided to try on some DIY hair dying and I am going to share it with you!

before we proceed with the procedures,here's is how it looks when you unwrapped it!

It is a product from Japan,and everything are written on Japanese characters 

which I am clueless on,so undoubtedly I skipped all the readings  ;D

Here's is what you get once you open up the bottle.

A bottle of colourless solution,two sachets of creamy like thingy and a pair of rubber gloves.

and a product manual! (at the back)

Now,let's get started! :D

Firstly,protect yourself by putting on the rubber gloves and grab this little bottle of solution.Notice that I put a layer of old newspaper on the floor to avoid spillages from causing me extra cleaning jobs :)

Open up the bottle and empty it into the cup.

Then,cut open this brown coloured sachet and mix it with the solution in step 1.

 Leave no powder behind. hehe!

Believe it or not,you're almost done!After you're done with filling up the cup which the two ingredients that I mentioned,recap the bottle is what you should do next!

Now start you mental timer!

Hold the bottle tight and firm in you hands then shake it up and down for 30 times.No more no less!

(The mixture will looks somehow uneven from the outside,but it's okay..

I suggest do not over shake it) 

I snapped a huge amount of this shaking scene's photo,but most of them failed.

Now you know how important a high-tech camera is :)

TAAADAAAA!

This is the end product of shaking it,it looks so yummy right?!

It looks so foamy so strawberry-yoghurt like,so I thought I should take a sniff on it....

*SNIFF SNIFF

and I ended up with a choking cough!

OMG!The gas smelled so strong as if 

I was given me a choke hold when it enters my nostrils!

*warning:do not attempt to do this at home

Since the smell was so unbearable,thus we had no choice but to make it fast!

Next,put on a worn-out shirt(that you are not gonna use any more) 

or take a one-time-use towel and surround it at you neck.

Here's some tips,if you're afraid that the dye may colour your neck,face or ear

 apply some baby oil at these areas before you start applying the dye.

Last but not least!

Ask assistance form some else to apply it evenly on your hair *with gloves on :)

You can do it yourself too if you want,

but it is risky because you do not have eyes at the back

 and you will probably miss applying to some areas. 

 Risk it! if you want to look like a spotty cheetah.*grin

Leave it for 30 minutes before you rinse it off.

The manual suggests to wash your hair twice with hair shampoo,

then apply the content of  pinky sachet after half dried your hair.

*It still stinks a little bit after two rounds of shampoos T.T

Here's some review of the product :)

I believe this instant hair dye are like those instant noodles that we found on market,they are full with God knows what toxic chemicals and it is definitely harmful to our body.But it is absolutely way cheaper compared to the price that you need to pay in the saloon for hair dying and most importantly it takes up less than an hour to complete everything!I was amazed!The results are satisfying,and I love the pinky sachet that I used at the end of the process because it smells so good and it smooths my hair after all the damaged done to each strands of my hair. hehe Honestly,I was unhappy until I use it(the pinky sachet) because I thought my hair were badly destroyed by the chemicals plus two rounds of shampoos,and I had a little bit if headache because of that -,- JEEZ.. I thought I had brain tumour and I almost die..hahaha!Due to that reason,personally thinks that it is okay to use it once in awhile,and I believe everything even the harmless things will become harmful when it is overused :) For beauty purposes I should say it is A MUST TRY!

Q&A session!

1.)If I were to score it out of 10

urm..I think I will give it a 7..which means satisfying :)

2.) Will I use it again?

Well it depends on how long till the time the dye get washed off..not too soon I supposed..at least a few months..

3.)Was it hard to handle?

No,it was easier than easy :D

4.)What colour did I dye?

urm..can't really remember,but I think it was hazel brown.

5.)Who helped me out during the process?

My cousin,Xinyin (also the one that gave me this)

6.) *Open for more questions!

Before I end,here's is the outcome!

                                                  

BEFORE (plain black)

AFTER (hazel brown)

Hope you enjoy reading!

Have a nice day,

XOXO

Princess Evon <3