Sunday, 15 September 2013

I dreamt.

The final exams have being going on for weeks now, and I am still getting stuck here in college waiting for one last paper which going to be conducted after seven days of gap with the previous paper.I am always afraid of period like this,because this semi-holiday mood is torturous!You're in dilemma all the time,choosing between books and entertainments..ahh!Damn it..please be fast..I want to go home!

I am staying in a residential area which mostly occupied with college students,and I happened to rent this house with another three guys..It is not a bad thing though,because I feel pretty safe with them around.But too bad,we all have different exam schedules, so three of them had already left home earlier,and I am all alone now in a big empty house.To make things worst,the whole area become so silent these few days because like I said most of the people has already gone back to their respective places. *goosebumps

So,in order to kill the fears in me..I am trying hard to sleep early these days..but it never works..okay fine!Due to insomnia,I frequently cocoon myself in my blanket, roll on my bed with my eyes wide opened and start thinking about a lot of things.Things in the past..now..and things in the future.

And there is one time,I thought about something that scared the shit out of me!I was half dreaming and half awoke I guess.The scene is still vividly playing in my mind.

From what I manage to recall, it looks like some sort of reunion party of me and my high school friends.We were all grown up and looked so old,some were even holding their kids in their arms.I can see from the faces that everyone was so happy to finally meet up after so long.The music was blasting,beers and all the awesome foods that you can think of just made that reunion more than perfect.I wished the party didn't stop..like just go on forever..Then people were moving around dancing and greeting each other,so I thought it will be good if I start making my move as well.So I did,I went around saying Hi and things like that.

But it all became so weird,as I was trying so hard to approach them and to wave at them, none of them seemed to even realize that I was there.All I received was only cold shoulders,and I heard my heart broken into thousand pieces like a glass shattered on the ground(ok..maybe I'm over describing this..LOL). How can that even possible?I monologued.

As I continue to walk around and scrutinize every single things in that spacious bright room,I found that each and everyone of us were wearing different kind of attires..And it was such a relief to see that, because we weren't wearing pure white dresses like angels,so I assumed that the place wasn't heaven and we were still alive.I saw few of them were wearing pure white lab coats and with a stethoscope around their necks..it was obvious..and yeah they are the doctors..Then came another few people who had lawyer suit on them..Followed by few girls who were wearing the same thing as the doctors but they had medicine in their hands..and some others that I can just skip because at a glance I knew they were all great people..and just when I saw the clothes that I had on me..I shrunk in size...so tiny that people can just step on me and there goes my life.I was wearing an old sloppy worn out shirt and a piece of torn and muddy skirt.My hair was so messy and I was so scruffy and unkempt that I get disgusted by my own look.

They stepped forward and said: "we are all professionals,and now look at you!What have your brilliant results back then has lead you to?You're not even worth a piece of rubbish!You should be ashamed with who you are!"

And a lot more harsh words that I didn't manage to catch and all I heard was a humming sound,so loud so ear piercing.

They raised their feet,and the next thing I know,I am already disappeared from the room.

The noise of train passing by,woke me up.I was stunned and had no idea what was that suppose to mean.Oh..that was too much,I talked to myself with my body shaking terribly.

I held my tears,shut my eyes and got back to sleep.

Then I thought to myself,perhaps this may not be just a dream.There is a possibility that gathering like this might happen after few years or so from now,and I fail to become someone that they expected me to be.Will I become their laughing stock then? ergh!kill me now.

okay..I'm done typing..see ya!

xoxo

Loves,

Princess Evon


















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